dreamweaver says.

Thursday, July 07, 2005 ; 9:37 PM

Yesterday was the day Ting Ting left for Australia. I made a farewell gift for her and I spent quite abit of time and effort on it. Glad to know that she liked it. :)
I have to say that Ting Ting did improve alot. Remembered last year when we went for Cambodia for 10 days, she cried so much at the airport that the passport checkers thought she was leaving for good. Haha.. But today, she was just happy to see so many of her friends and relatives sending her off. Yepp.. There was alot of people. We reached the airport at 7pm and after checking in her luggage, praying and some goodbyes to everybody, she finally did went in at 9.05pm, when she really was supposed to go in at 8.50pm.
Alright la. So she did cry abit. She said she did not want to let her parents see her crying. Given her super emotional self and overly full tear bags, it must have been very tough to hold back her tears. I know. I tried too. When little Daniel ran over to hug her, you would too. When you see her going in and know that you won't see her again after a really long time, you would too. When we watched her go off until we could see her no more, it was this feeling of emptiness and a sense of loss that overwhelmed me. I tried to distract myself with the phone, only to find myself reading the messages she had sent me over the past few days which I hadn't bear to delete that I did begin to 'drown' my phone. Sometimes I thought I was a very unfeeling person. Maybe you would feel the same way when you watch movies with Ethelyn, who'll cry over the slightest things while you'd feel as if you're going to fall asleep. But today I felt so useless. I guess only Kuan Ren and me really did cry. But she didn't cry to the extent of gasping for air. How crap is that? Not to mention totally embarassing oneself. However, there was this nice thing about crying. That the people around you are really sweet towards you. Offering tissues when you most needed them. It really reminded me when I was in nursery when my best friend didn't turn up for kindergarten that day, I just couldn't bear the aloneness during playtime that I did start crying. Then there was this Indian boy who was sitting opposite from the table. He saw me crying and he called the teacher. I guess I scared him so much that he offered me the stuff that he was building a minute ago just so that I would stop crying. Haha.. Amazed that I even remembered something so trivial.
Afterwards, we went for dinner at around 10pm. I guess in a way, I'm almost like Ting Ting. Once I start, I can't stop crying. When I did stop, my mind drifts back to the earlier events and I'll start tearing again. But when I thought I really had stopped, Ting Ting called me. Not that it was anything bad la. But I dunno.. It just hit a nerve and the water tap goes on again. I bet I looked like a messy wreck with me holding onto the phone, fries in my mouth and water on my face. Haha.. I can almost imagine it. Yuks.
Anyway, I hope all is well for Ting Ting in Australia. I wonder what she's doing right now. The following weekends will feel dull. At least for me. On Sunday, you wouldn't see her sitting by the piano anymore. Time. In the course of time, the sadness will go away too. And I'm sure she's having a good time in her new environment now. Somehow, it felt like a revelation. As if it's deja vu all over again on the 21st July. When Ethelyn leaves for New York. August is going to be a dark month for me. That is until Ethelyn gets back on the 22nd. Why are all my friends going away? My closest friends at that. This is just so sad.